Back in Australia
The weirdest thing about being in Australia though is that it's not weird to be in Australia. I have traveled so much and my home base is now non existent really, so traveling feels a little less removed from reality and more of the permanent status quo.
I don't want to always be a world traveler, always moving on to that next place. The last few months however, I have really needed it. It's helped get my head and my heart back in the right place. To remember what is important, to leave behind what isn't and to see the world in a way that makes sense again. I am thankful to have the opportunity to do so. I am also thankful for the friends and family who are there when you need them and the people that include, rather than exclude. Life is too short, ya know?
So, that being said, looks like Sydney is in the cards for early next week and I will be happy to see the place I called home for a time again. It's been over six and a half years since I have been there. It will be good to go back for a quick visit. I plan on seeing a lot and taking a lot of new photos.
Why we can't have nice things
How to Care for your Unemployed Friend
1. If the friend shared with you an exciting interview coming up, that means they wanted you to know that they had some high hopes this would go well. After the interview happens, you may want to show this friend that you are thinking about them by asking about how the interview went. If the interview went well and is leading to another interview, you are probably going to be the first to hear back about it. If you hear nothing and then ask, it could be like picking a scab off an emotional wound. No word back can feel like a rejection and to stay positive, you have to focus on the next interview.
2. Don't keep asking how your unemployed friend how they are doing. Although you have the best of intentions, this makes them feel like a leper when they have to keep saying "hanging in there." and forcing a smile when they may in fact, and probably are, a bit worried and scared. Talking about it doesn't always help, in fact sometimes, it can let some of the depression of not having found that awesome job yet overwhelm them when they were doing a pretty good job before on focusing on the positive.
3. Be open to if they want to vent. Let them lead the "I need to talk" conversation, don't force it on them. Even those who are reserved in sharing their emotion sometimes take refuge in quiet self introspection.
4. Buy them a beer and/or a meal occasionally. This does wonders when you find yourself accounting for every dollar a bit more closely, a beer or a meal out becomes more of a luxury. It's nice to feel human again and get out for a bit to forget about the issues that worry you.
5. Know that your concern is appreciated, even if they seem to be a bit reserved in wanting to communicate sometimes.
* This guide may differ from vagrant to vagrant. Please consult with a professional if these steps do not achieve the appropriate positive response.
Fight the Good Fight
Yesterday, my son left back for Oklahoma. He was here for over a month in New York City. The trip to the airport was a bit depressing but I kept us talking and concerned with our path to the airport so for the most part, it was an everyday event until we were sitting at his gate, waiting for him to board. I was trying to be okay but it was just killing me to see that kid get on a plane to go away from me and for who knows how long 'till I see him again. In this economy, I haven't been able to get back every couple of months like I used to. This last gap of time was equal to the amount of time I went without seeing him in Australia. Today, I started a new contract job that will last a few weeks and I think both sides are still looking to see how the fit goes. I like the people there and the the walk is pretty nice so I hope it does work out. But today, my first day to work there, there was an 89% humidity which caused me to show up drenched with sweat. During the first meeting my eye did the allergy blood fill thing, and on the way home, it poured down rain down on me. Despite the cool rainstorm view from the 44th floor in a lower Manhattan office and a cool thunderstorm today, I'm so sick of the rain. Yesterday and today I have felt like a truck ran over me, probably from the emotions I have been dealing with.
I have dealt with a lot of emotions and life altering events over the past year, one after another, after another. I have done all this with a smile on my face and a positive attitude while some days screaming a bit inside. But for one month, one really good month, I had my son here to remind me what is really important and make everything else seem a bit less significant. This awesome kid who means more to me than anything, sit next to me, and be that piece of hope I so urgently needed. It was exactly what I needed. And just like that, he was now gone as well. It really hurt. He knows that he is a source of strength for me, I kinda like that he knows that.
I will be fine, I always land on my feet, sometimes you just need some time and a big change to come along. I'm ready for the change.
Reunions and Social Networking
I didn't really go to any 10 year reunions because I honestly would not have not have even known anything about it. And frankly, would have had a hard time remembering most of the people there. When you have to adapt to as many environments as I have, you have to make room for new faces and names to index over the old ones. This isn't to say the old ones weren't important, but you prioritize to the now when you have to get to know a whole new school of people four times over, not including two universities and two branches of service as well as countless jobs.
As I said, I didn't go to the ten year reunion in Chickasha, but I was invited by a friend to attend the homecoming football game that many of the reunion alumni were going to. I saw a few people there I vaguely remembered and talked to a few of them for a bit, but there wasn't a big impact really. I had a pretty good job then, but was in a rut as far as life giving me everything I was wanting out of it.
So twenty years, holy crap! It had been twenty years since graduation and that's a long time. But as people were connecting on FaceBook and showing pictures of them and now and all the fun group pictures in High School, It occurred to me it had been much longer for me. My friends and acquaintances were still 9th graders in my eyes because that was when I last saw most of them. People I once knew had gone on living and growing when I left that school and there was the evidence. Despite your brains best effort to make you think those people are still the same from when you last saw them, they were busy having their lives and growing as people too.
In the end, my moving around so much had a few effects on me, it made able to adapt to new surroundings, but in return, it made me lose a bit of my past. It also made me lose a piece of me that roots itself in it's past. These people, no matter how distant now, had a big impact in forming my opinions on the world and how I see things. In all the places I went to. And yet in my ability to adapt I had nearly dumped all those memories years ago.
I'm thankful for the social media networks for giving that to me, for letting me have my past back. To reconnect to people I knew for years, or for a brief time of my life that was important to me. I'm happy to reconnect to these people and see they aren't the same kids I last saw either. It's been enlightening on many levels and it's given me back a piece of myself.
When you're a statistic, everything is more in focus.
A few weeks ago, I came in to work and everything seemed a bit strange. Work was getting shelved that was recently important and my urgent request emails weren't being returned. My director went in for a meeting with our manager and then when he came out, I was asked to come in. It hit me what this was on my way to the office.
I had been let go and so had my director. The company had been really trying to pull itself out of a quagmire of issues and with the economy doing a nose dive, it was the last straw. The investors were ordering downsizing and the people who were going to stay were going to have to make some sacrifices as well. In my manager's defense, it was an emotional thing for him to do, and we all liked working with each other. There was just no getting around it. I left the office, talked to my director a bit, grabbed a few things and headed home on the 4 train.
The Gate to the Hundred Acre Woods
When I was young, we lived on a rural farm in Oklahoma. No other kids to play with, nothing else around for miles except lots of land, cows, farming equipment, abandoned oil well equipment, and undiscovered ways to amuse yourself with the isolation you haven't yet realized will start to make you a weird kid.
The ambient sounds. Oil pumps scattered out on the land, working day and night and going up and down to pull the sludge out from the earth. You could see at least three at anytime in any direction and they made a drumming noise in repetition; thut thut, thut thut, thut thut thut. You fell asleep to this noise in the distance, you woke up to the same. Menacing looking machines too, as dangerous as any rail road crossing. Where I went to school, we didn't watch films about the dangers of drugs, we watched films about the dangers of Rail Road Crossings.
You Can't Always Get What You Want
This year, which has not been bad at all, has been going by at an incredible, mind numbing speed. Seems like yesterday it was New Years Eve in Times Square and now we are at Halloween again already. This year however, has been different than the past. For the better actually. See, I haven't found out things yet, but I've had to deal with a lot of things I been avoiding and I have had to confront some pretty big fears. Yea, I know, sorry, cryptic and I apologize but, I like to let you in on the fact that I am having these insights, just not as to what they are.
Tomorrow is Halloween night and I was going to try and get back to Oklahoma to be with Nate this year, simply because even though we always video chat every year before and after the event, I haven't been with him dressed up in his little outfit in four years now. It's a trade off to have Christmas and it's an easy choice, but still, how many years does your kid still want to dress up as a Star Wars Clone Trooper? I'm missing out on that and it doesn't go by me without difficult notice. So we video chat again and we enjoy the time we spend at Christmas and we hope next year allows us to get both.
Typhoid Beau
Last week while I was in Oklahoma, I managed to not get sick from allergies. I did however get food poisoning, or so I thought. After hurling up for a day and feeling sore all over, I felt a lot better the next day and vowed never to eat at that place again, I thought it was a done deal.
Over the following week, many people I have known have found themselves also hurling up for about a twenty-four hour period and feeling pretty much like crap. Today, the news is reporting a bug that is hitting everyone all over the US.
I'm sorry America. I won't eat there ever again.
The Anna Nicole Smith on-going timeline for Dummies or those having only a vague partial interest and need cliff notes to keep up.
*Most background information was pulled from her Wikipedia entry.
I used to be a little obsessed with Anna Nicole Smith back in her Guess modeling days when I was in college. It was ruined pretty much right after I heard her speak. But what I can't get over is, when her show came out and it was obvious and apparent to everyone watching how messed up she was, where were the people who cared for her?
Quick Reference Time line of Anna Nicole Smith ----
