1. If the friend shared with you an exciting interview coming up, that means they wanted you to know that they had some high hopes this would go well. After the interview happens, you may want to show this friend that you are thinking about them by asking about how the interview went. If the interview went well and is leading to another interview, you are probably going to be the first to hear back about it. If you hear nothing and then ask, it could be like picking a scab off an emotional wound. No word back can feel like a rejection and to stay positive, you have to focus on the next interview.
2. Don't keep asking how your unemployed friend how they are doing. Although you have the best of intentions, this makes them feel like a leper when they have to keep saying "hanging in there." and forcing a smile when they may in fact, and probably are, a bit worried and scared. Talking about it doesn't always help, in fact sometimes, it can let some of the depression of not having found that awesome job yet overwhelm them when they were doing a pretty good job before on focusing on the positive.
3. Be open to if they want to vent. Let them lead the "I need to talk" conversation, don't force it on them. Even those who are reserved in sharing their emotion sometimes take refuge in quiet self introspection.
4. Buy them a beer and/or a meal occasionally. This does wonders when you find yourself accounting for every dollar a bit more closely, a beer or a meal out becomes more of a luxury. It's nice to feel human again and get out for a bit to forget about the issues that worry you.
5. Know that your concern is appreciated, even if they seem to be a bit reserved in wanting to communicate sometimes.
* This guide may differ from vagrant to vagrant. Please consult with a professional if these steps do not achieve the appropriate positive response.
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Everyone wants to offer advice! They do on what I'm going through..."Why can't you just .. blah blah blah"! Good intentions.. but, I've already thought of it and if it worked then I wouldn't be having this conversation with you! ... I politely explain the absurdness of it all. It's just a moment in time that will pass.
It has certainly changed the course of my direction. But, I look at it as opening more opportunities. Almost like a new world or new life. I'm free to move forward in any direction I like. It has taken a lot to get there.. it's not an emotional decision I made overnight. It unfolds everyday.
Hang in there my friend!
Love it.
Instead I have friends who take me as a "gift" to Yankee Stadium and then ask for the ticket cost. I'm starting to wonder if these people are in fact friends.
What a difficult situation. Your honesty is fantastic! In a world of so many people it's easy to feel very alone. I'm sure this post helped more people than you realize. :)
Did on #1, Guilty on #2, planning on #3 when we're there...because that entails #4. :)
See you soon.
-Taj