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absolutwade.com, where we poop creatively.

April 2005 Archives.

welcome

They say that on the other side of the world, everyone has a twin double.

Sommer, a friend in Sydney, sent an email yesterday talking about how at the AMEX office, there was a new girl who has an uncanny resemblance to me who is from Texas.

Well, I think the obvious question is; do I make a pretty girl?

Thanks to Apple Computer and video programs such as iMovie and other low priced editing programs, the masses can now express themselves in video form.

This video is a good argument for why this isn't always a good thing.

I was just wondering the other day whatever happened to REO Speedwagon and '80's MTV Video special effects.

update: a spoof of the already bad video. (nsfw)

A very beautiful day was had back in New York City. The weather was warm and Central Park was packed full of everyone getting a break from the cold weather and taking advantage of the plentyfull ammount of sunshine.

After throwing the frisbee around and getting some sun, it was decided by several of us that a beer was a good idea at a nearby pub, to where I finally saw my fist NYC semi-celebrity.

Your kid is singing along with his Kidz Bop 7 CD alone in his room. What do you do, hot shot? What do you do?

Why, you grab the video camera, of course, and share with the world.

Of all the 4 million children who were born in 1997 in the United States (including my son);

3 million (3 out of 4) will finish high school.
760,000 (1 in 5) will attend 4 years of College.
30,000 (1 in 25) will receive a Ph.D.
3,200,000 (8 out of 10) will become parents.

And then, statistically speaking, there are the risks;

50,000 (1 out of 40) of boys will go to prison.
1,333,333 (1 in 3) will die of heart disease.
800,000 (1 in 5) will die of cancer.
7 will be struck by lightning.
1 will be attacked by a shark.

It doesn't make me want to go bubble wrap Nathan just yet, statistically speaking, he has a really good shot at a long well lived life. But still, heart disease is so high that I will be livid about him ever smoking. Especially when his grandfather has congestive heart failure.

This busta rhyme assembled by http in tha house from posts made on absolutwade. Yo check it, aiight.


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WWW DOT ABSOLUTWADE DOT COM IN THA HOUSE
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Tom Delay on an interview with the Washington Times;

"I blame Congress over the last 50 to 100 years for not standing up and taking its responsibility given to it by the Constitution. The reason the judiciary has been able to impose a separation of church and state that's nowhere in the Constitution is that Congress didn't stop them. The reason we had judicial review is because Congress didn't stop them. The reason we had a right to privacy is because Congress didn't stop them."

I'd like to think he didn't mean to say that statement, but I fear more that he did. I am constantly amazed at the audacity of Mr. Delay trying to change our very system of Government in all forms and on all playing fields to match his personal ideology over what government should be.

A couple of weeks ago I pulled a muscle in my lower right shoulder blade. It's not that bad, in fact it's not even noticable most of the time. The only time I do notice it is when I sneeze, which causes a sharp stabbing pain in my lower right shoulder blade.

You can see how funny / tragic this is, right?

(sneeze) Ow!
(sneeze) ow.
(sneeze) .. wimper...

It just occured to me that the Bravo channel and the Oh! channel actually are competing for two different demographic audiences.

The Christian's long ago would ridicule and mock the pagans for not changing their calendar to the newly observed Christian calendar. The Pagan calendar starts it's New Year on April 1st. So thus began the informal holiday of mockery and ridicule. The bit about my site being down today and me quitting writing was obviously a little joke on my part. April Fools.

About a year ago, Ray calls up and says Mitch Hedberg is in town at the University and asks if I want to go. So I did, and we went, and it was a riot to watch. The guy could talk about shaving and make it hysterically funny. Jokes about a cheese grater being called by it's proper name; a sponge ruiner to others about people banging on the wall about the noise and yelling back "There's no door here, man!"

Mitch died Wednesday of heart failure, he was a funny guy and I am glad I got to see him at least once before he was gone.

One of my sister's best friend as a kid passed away last week. I vaguely remember her but I hung out with her little brother.

The Pope is about to pass away and is getting non-stop coverage on all the networks, this just after Terri Schiavo's ordeal being waged relentlessly for days.

Mortality has been a large ugly monkey on the back this week.

Damn pagans.